Finally… freed from the chains of a Vinegar
Syndrome drought, TOMB IT MAY CONCERN is back and ready to rumble
through some vintage porn for your perusal! First up is the release of
CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST, and when I see that VS puts out a single disc
dedicated to a film I assume it is something very worthwhile. This one
sure is. This film has laughs, hot women and men and a goofy sense of
style that feels like a Hollywood farce of days gone by. Champagne
(Leslie Bovee) is one women headed to the top of the advertising world,
but her sex life may be active, but her choice of men is the pits. Be
it paying for an all dicks on deck pounding or picking up a random “beer
kinda guy” that has a name for his schlong and no manners at all when
athletic sex goes awry, what could she do? Enter our man, Harry. John
Leslie is in top form throughout, be it getting his schlong long when
the time is right or cracking the audience up as Harry’s weird sense of
morality shines through. Watch for one of the absolute best mid blowjob
“come on down”s EVER early on. So, Harry is screwed both literally and
figuratively because he needs work while his brother in law fucks him
over on some investments. Problem is…his blue balls problem seems to
always end him up working on his thrusts over working on getting his
paychecks. Enter, Champagne and Harry’s plan to pretend to be gay to
get a job as her bodyguard. Her VERY close bodyguard.
Hilarity ensues as the odd couple talk about
life, and Harry paints a picture of his life as a gay boxer in the
Navy, where massages were commonplace. He protects his employer from
herself on occasion, sure, but his constant attempts to avert his eyes
from Leslie Bovee are really entertaining to watch. Never mind when
Champagne rewards him with a nice gentleman that announces…”All night,
my cock is yours!”
OH SHIT!
The film is really funny, and Bovee is
always a pleasure to watch because she has that classic beauty AND she
really puts her all into making Champagne likeable and enthusiastic.
Her cracking up as a horny construction worker holds her upside down and
pours a beer in her butt was just making me smile the entire time. A
porn film that rarely feels dirty, it’s good fun for all.
The DVD contains two trailers for the porn
edition and a soft edit, and you can watch some of the sequences used to
pad out the soft version as well. I can’t say they did much for me,
but it’s interesting to catch a gander of how they buffed up the running
time while deleting the penetration shots as it usually is. Directed
by Chris Warfield (be sure and check out SEX WORLD on Blu Ray as well)
and written by GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE’s John Hayes (who has been under the
VS microscope already if you read my review of BABY ROSEMARY right
here). It’s just plain porn with a smile, and bubbly as champagne.
Even though I’m a beer man myself, I can’t resist a good naughty comedy!
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