Sunday, October 05, 2014

Halloween Horrors 5-6 The RAW FORCE of HARD TO DIE

A Saturday night in October demands a double feature, and why not go for some more ACTION oriented horror to keep things lively?  First up was the newly released RAW FORCE BluRay from Vinegar Syndrome!  Now, I absolutely LOVE this film, and if you haven't seen it, you must. If you have, get ready for an amazing presentation of this insane film!

RAW FORCE is the kind of film you think you are dreaming of seeing WHILE you are watching it.  After a dude that looks like Hitler sells some women to a bunch of monks (VIC DIAZ!!!) on an island of disgraced martial artists for food and fodder for ritual sacrifice to kung fu demonites, a pleasure cruise goes awry as they are hijacked for their women by the same bunch of baddies.  But thankfully their are KUNG FU ENABLED PASSENGERS ready to kick some ass, battle full contact zombies and bring it to the weird monks of DOOOOOOM. 

Simple, right? Well, it's the way that RAW FORCE gets to the finish line that will make you sit in pure exploitation cinema AWE of it's most heavenly glory!  From the start it's just strangeness galore as EVERY bit of trash cinema gets riffed on.  While the zombies and monks and general kung fu smack and crack is great, and there is a super sized side of beautiful racks (wow...wait, that is CAMILLE KEATON??) -- I learned something interesting this time around.  It's the zany party sequences that make up the second act of the film that I just love.  Lots of film bring the fighty fight, but the mix of comedy and just plain cheapO sets and crackingly funny dialog make RAW FORCE shine.  How can you not love Cameron Mitchell as he grumps his way through the film?  Sure, Hitler guy runs around with a rocket launcher, but compared to Jillian Kesner (FIRECRACKER!!!) surprising everyone with her deadly kung fu skill, it's just another day in RAW FORCEVILLE. Look I can beat, flog and dump Hai Karate all over this film for you, but why? YOU NEED IT IN YOUR LIFE.  About half way through I realized I had been smiling the entire time it was on.  NUFF SAID.  And this...

                                Oh, and CAMILLE KEATON???  How did I never know this?

But the double feature can't stop.  The BluRay looks astonishing and contains an interview with finishing editor (audio only) Jim Wynorski.  I've got a phrase that applies to all things cinematic. ENTERTAINMENT, THY NAME IS WYNORSKI!  So, inspired by the RAWNESS of the FORCE I went to a film I've watched quite a few times, and was ready to dig into once more.  The ultimate in HOT LADIES IN LINGERIE BATTLE THE UNDEAD EVIL THAT ESCAPED A SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE (2) AND A HEROIC AND UNDER APPRECIATED JANITOR SHALL SAVE THEM ALL films. 

HARD TO DIE is a very weird remix / remaster / sequel / spin off / bottomless shower sequence tribute to SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 2.  The evil of SHM2's HOCKSTETTER is mistakenly delivered to ACME LINGERIE, where 5 beautiful ladies are ready to take inventory...and showers...and try on the wares.  They could NEVER have expected to battle evil, never mind evil that was intended to go to FORRY ACKERMAN! 

Luckily, the janitor working in the building is... ORVILLE KETCHUM!  The gals recount SHM2 and how Orville may have conquered evil OR been a creepy killer.  Well, they definitely are a looks over heart group that pummel, pound and punish old Orville as they think he is murdering the girls as they start going missing.  NOT KIND!!!

 Who will survive? Who will use the shower next?  Will you expect that love can conquer all?  You HAVE to see it to believe it.  I'm kicking myself that I didn't do a Orville Double Feature, but when you need HARD TO KILL, nothing else will do.  

 HARD TO DIE is one of the breeziest and most fun sub 80 minute exploitation flicks I can think of, and I've got a pretty large amount of them under my belt.  This one takes the target audience (urr..all of you that are still reading) along for the ride with a wink and nod that never feels like it wants to be ironic, but knows that we are all in together for lingerie and machine guns and horror and showers.  Heck, you even get this guy... THE DIRECTOR does not like DIRTY FEET!!!

THIS is a Saturday night in October. Horror and action and a bottle of PUMKING to go with it.  I love Halloween Horrors!!

1 comment:

Mike H said...

We finally watched it. YES! The party scene! Almost Russ Meyer-esque dialog!

Love love love!!