Streaming Sleaze with EXPLOITATION.TV #1 : JUDY

Streaming Sleaze Fans rejoice... EXPLOITATION.TV has launched.  With more amazing films at your fingertips than you can shake John C. Holmes massive dong at, I'm glad to re-review a few old favorites.  My hometown city, Boston, gets some love right out of the box with the Combat Zone set saga of tighty whitey wearing shit talkers and the dick known as Gunner Sloan!  


"I will say this though, every one of his victims has been an overt man pleaser..."

After a young girl is assaulted during a sketch session in the woods behind her home, her father, Mr. Fairchild, calls in a no shit taking private dick with a big heart, GUNNER SLOAN.  What a great name, and Dave Haller pulls off the only really interesting part of the movie by delivering some great soft boiled lines, such as this wangdoodle as his secretary checks in to see if he needs any release of tension from his tighty whities.  He obviously has a job ahead of him, saving prostitutes from The Combat Zone in Boston circa 1970.  Give the guy some action...

"Mr. Sloane, I didn't know you needed any help."

"Well, no man is an island, baby."

It's obvious that he needs to earn some cash and solve the crime for the Fairchilds, because those underoos are starting to look as dark as the Batman ones I was probably wearing when this was released!

But wait, that isn't what brings us here, I mean while GUNNER SLOAN may be quite awesome, there is actually a fun little potboiler in this flick, and when I say little I really mean it. The sex scenes, and showers as well, feature a bevy of mostly attractive women with sunburns taking time with men, with each other or just a bar of soap.  So, be ready to fish for the good stuff, but it's all set to a kooky little soundtrack that makes my head alternate between pain and a flashback to eating too much cotton candy outside Boston Garden and wondering if I could get over to those movie theaters down the street that showed movies downstairs and flicks like this UPSTAIRS as a kid!

 

Skin and Sunburns...these elements abound in JUDY!

Anyways, as for plot, our man GUNNER SLOAN is in deep with the cops as they try to solve the case, find out where Judy is, and every time the murderer strikes he seems to be right in front of GUNNER SLOAN's curve of absolutely no logical fashion of solving anything but how to get a few quarters to wash his damn underwear!  BUT... you get some cool moments that feature GUNNER SLOAN slapping his way through the naked underworld like Maurizio Merli drained of mustache power! Such as this!

No, she doesn't talk...but so it goes.  

And can we forget the romantic subplot with GUNNER SLOAN making promises he can't keep and the elusive "vacation after I finish this case" part?  Sure it's by the numbers, and Dave Haller was never in another film, but he reads it just right.  

 JUDY ends on a bit of a head clonker of a solution, but it doesn't matter, it's got the prerequisite skin, sin and even some "stylish" attack sequences that involve zoom lens work that makes it seem like Jess Franco with seizures!  It's breezy, easy and enjoyable with one exception. The opening minutes feature a LOOOOOOOONG lesbian scene that makes lesbian action boring.  Seriously, I didn't even know that was a thing, but this one...it's like a tongue fellating scene gone wrong.  Ew.  You can skip that and dive right into the film proper if you ask me, it will leave a better taste in your mouth by avoiding the tastes in the first duos mouths entirely!  

I was really intrigued by this Vinegar Syndrome title in particular for it's Boston angle.  There just isn't enough smut shot local that I'm aware of and I really wanted to see a lot. The only thing that jumped out at me was a stalking sequence that may have been on Boston Common, I remember these little chains, but I was TWO when the film was released.  Anyone?

 The producers of this also did THE NIGHT OF THE BLOODY TRANSPLANT which hasn't hit DVD yet, but a little research has shown that that horror film (now I have to watch it..sigh) has the same score. OH NO! I'll never get it out of my mind.  It also seems to share some room and bathroom sets...so, there is that.  Oh curiosity, you kill me! 

While far from fantastic, you could do a lot worse than this bit of goofy sexploitation for an hour and change, the print looks great and you can't forget...GUNNER SLOAN!