Now I know what my fish Maciste sees in his bowl. |
Now, throw in a few very stationary gangsters with a predilection for the term YES BOSS, a lot of bikinis, a scientist in a bikini, a bunch of eggs that everyone seems to forget that contain a bunch of P.Rexoids and the same shot of P-Rex surfacing on a little boat to squash things and we are just about there. Because not only do we have the death aquatic, but then it's time for the Jurassic Park scenes too!
When it comes to exploitation films and monster movies of this stripe I'm a firm believer of an honest days pay for an honest days work. It's not like Mark L. Lester isn't trying, but the production being called Spartan would make you assume it had even a little armor. Everyone is working here, but the film tends to just be...cheaper than expected. And I expected CHEAP. The effects are tolerable enough and Lester has an excellent way of introducing every woman in the film by leading with the actresses shapely breasts about to bust free. Seriously, watch for that...it's movie magic! Even the performances come across well enough. The guy with a Roman Numeral III is even alright. But that may be the problem here. In recent years you get to make a groovy monster film by being audacious and outrageous. Poseidon Rex commits the sin of just being... safe. OK. It's tame by broadcast TV standards and that ain't gonna make me happy. Audacity beats budget (ask Mark Polonia!) and what we get is a vanilla feature that has a great concept with no real attempt to reach the wacky heights that will set it apart. A decent little diversion for a night with plentiful drinks, but you would be better served by many other films that take the Sharktopoctopodapusanodo formula to a less logical and more satisfying conclusion.
Worst thing about the film? Seeing Mark L. Lester in the credits BELOW "bikini girls" was a blow. I think I need to watch Class Of 1999 again....
Sigh...I wanted to love this one.
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