TOMB IT MAY CONCERN - David Zuzelo Scribbles on Mangled Media!
One man's journal through the swamps of mangled media!
From Jess Franco to Christina Lindberg to the art of Eurocine. Mangled Media knows no bounds. Nor does it recognize good taste!
THE MURDER SECRET--This is one of my favorite tapes, the film was chopped up in Cat In The Brain and stands very well as a splatter film. Directed by Mario Bianchi of Satan's Baby Doll fame, you really can't go wrong with this film. Not sure if it was ever released on DVD, but it should be! COMMANDO INVASION--A Jun Gallardo special starring Cameron Mitchell...awesome fun.
BAMBOO GODS AND IRON MEN-- One of my favorite poster designs EVER. That is a beautiful bit of poster art, and the film itself is actually quite a bit of fun. Cesar Gallardo directs this time.
PHANTOM SOLDIERS--This is prime TOUGH TO KILL styled action. It has conspiracies, explosions, bullet blasting battles, more explosions and the Phantom Soldiers themselves. A must.
I love Japanese VHS and have a pretty good collection of them. While I have yet to scale the epic heights of Castle Banzai and all those Ninja films (my Tough To Kill brother, Paul, is living in a monumental stack I'm sure)-I just love finding these films. There are still a few to locate, and without those tapes there certainly never would have been a Tough To Kill book. So, here are some big scans to preserve the artwork, the rare stills and the boundless enthusiasm of these old designs. Formats get smaller, but VHS clamshell boxes from Japan are eternal. If you like these, just let me know and I'll keep on scanning-there are a lot to do!
INTERZONE--This is an odd duck of a post nuke eurotrasher to say the very least. You can read a tandem Tough To Kill review here.
MASTER OF THE WORLD--Alberto Cavallone goes CaveManCrazy! One of my favorite finds...letterboxed no less. Dig the step by step gore on the back cover...wow!
SFX RETALIATOR--Silver Star produced weird movies, but a trashy rip off of F/X with Robert Ginty, Cameron Mitchell and Linda Blair? Awesome and a must see for the fake tank. My review is here.
TOUGH TO KILL--This is a great release, it contains the D'Amato action classic in widescreen and demolishes the US DVD release for clarity and sound quality. There is more artwork for this film on my blog right here.
I sat down to watch more Brucesploitation and finally caught up with THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN! The third film I've watched from The Return of the Dragon 4 Pack-this one is a classic.
Now, reviewing this movie would take about 4 hours, because there is so much great stuff to comment on. So, instead I'm going to throw a few words and names at you. All of this is in THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN! Do you want to see Bruce Lee (who looks very little like "himself" and this is even explained in the film!) battle The King of Hell? Do you like the following? Kung fu fighting! Kung Fu Popeye!!? Kamen Rider styled henchmen of hell...MEEP MEEP! James Bond. The Man With No Name. Caine from Kung Fu. Zatoichi. Emmanuelle attempting to sex the lord of hell to death! Guys counting the strokes to get there??? Gun fights! Fist Fights. Foot Fights. Nonstop jokes that will make you laugh and groan at the same time. And of course, the secret technique...THE THIRD LEG OF BRUCE! Watch, enjoy and if you think I would steer you wrong, I invite you to at least watch the opening credits and see if this isn't the strangest thing you have watched in a while.
After reading through my review of the Dragon 4 pack I decided it was time for more Bruce(s) in my life. I popped in the RETURN of the Dragon 4 pack with high hopes. Disc 1 is a bit of surprise and a huge letdown at the same time.
Film 1... ENTER THE GAME OF DEATH! Now, you put a Bruce clone in a tracksuit (and this one has Bruce Le!) and I'm there. However, the transfer on the DVD was stammering so badly that it was unwatchable. Now, this may be a disc error or something on all copies. I'd guess the latter, because as Gordon Liu once said, "this is VideoAsia!" But here is a clip. Track suit? Check. Bruce Le? Check. Fights...I'd love to check it out!"
Side 2 features Dragon Lee in MISSION FOR THE DRAGON. Bonus! This is a Godfrey Ho signed film. So, I knew it would have some odd stuff at the very least, and it does in spades. A very typical film for most of the running time, it features two groups of people trying to solve a murder and out to gain vengeance along the way. Some talking takes place, but Dragon Lee and Carter Wong are both on show kicking people silly. I had my thoughts on who would be the bad guy in the end, and lets just say that the two guys in the previous sentence are your choices.
Easy choice eh?
But then the nonsense angles come crashing down. There is a haunted cave, a masked master, a "monster" in the worst fright mask since NINJA CLOWN and even a little romance. But where a Ho shows off best is in the action department...and this is no let down at all. Tons of undercranked fighting scenes are something I'm a sucker for, and the climactic showdown even involves a human disco ball!
Honestly, this isn't much a Brucesploitation film for 90 percent of the movie, but in the end, it has Dragon Lee using ALL the signature moves-so, on the list it goes!
Video quality..."This is VideoAsia" 3 stars. That means 1 star but stable by VA standards. Can't wait to see if the other disc works! Brucesploitation and Beer...to be continued!
Bruceploitation... a goldmine of kung-fuexploitation films for some, for others a dreaded blasphemy. In martial arts movie history, the exploitation of the image of Bruce Lee is a one of a kind phenomena that generated a slew of celluloid slaughters and beatdowns! Certainly, no other star could have started such a trend, could they? Can you imagine a world with Schwarzenegsploiters or Segalsploitation? I can't...but Bruce Lee, after a relatively short cinematic span really, spawned imitations, admirers and some of cult movies most far out features.
Bruceploitation comes in several savorable flavors and I think it's fair to break them down thus. First, we have the "bio-pic" style film. WHAT did Bruce Lee do before he was famous? And just as often...HOW did he die? WHY? Using every cinematic trick in the book these films don't particularly care about getting it right, as long as it's sensational and lots of punching and kicking is involved HK producers knew it would sell. To this day it still sells as the shelves of any electronics store or dollar disc Ebay store can testify . Slews of the bio-pics are still available, and must generate some sales. Most amusing to me is that "evil" film producers are quite common in these films...the exploiters love exploiting their own bad image in this case! It reminds of nudie film makers who then portray themselves as picking up girls at "fire sale" prices in order to not only film them naked and sell the pictures, but to take advantage of them as well!
Then we go into the "successor of Bruce Lee" mode. The best example of these come from Bruce Li's filmography (read this post by Linn Haynes for MUCH more on him!)...look to Exit The Dragon, Enter the Tiger for a fist smashingly good entry into the genre. The film's tagline bravely screamed out "The Dragon sends The Tiger on a fantastic mission...IF I DIE, FIND OUT WHY!" That about says it all. Also there are even films that have students of Bruce Lee passing about books of knowledge that the real Bruce never imparted. Many evil men want to exploit his work, and the Lee-Clone crew must stop that from happening.
And finally we have the most beloved Brucesploitation films...the whacked out stories...Clones of Bruce Lee has The Dragon's blood siphoned off after he dies to generate clones! Yep, you read it right...
The word "Bruce" became very popular in titles, making some very very odd marquees. Bruce Vs. Bill...who would care? But when you think of BRUCE LEE...then people starting putting the ass to seat. Names like Bruce Li, Bruce Le, Bruce Liang, Bruce Thai, Dragon Lee all strike a dreadful cord with some, but I swear to you, I'll watch ANY of these guys on any given day. Yes friends, I am a Bruceploit-A-holic. Personally, I'll take a Bruce Li flick over watching the few Bruce Lee movies because you can rely on some good fight scenes, berserk stories and the fact that he bears an uncanny resemblance to the man himself is a bonus. At the end of this review I've included some links for more on Bruceploitation-and anyone interested in seeing a whole new side of kung-fu films should check them out. Several pioneers in the field such as Carl Jones (owner of the Bruce Li fanzine), and Keith and William at the Bruceploitation page (one of the BEST sites on the web) can enlighten you, and hopefully tempt you into the lair of the not quite but kinda sorta Lee.
And that brings us to the Dragon 4-Pack released by VideoAsia on DVD about 6 years ago. Containing four films, it's hardly a 4 pack as the title offers, it's a single disc with two movies per side. You should be able to find this super cheap, and if you pay more than 2 bucks a movie I'd be surprised. And you get what you pay for. Sort of.
SIDE A-CLONES OF BRUCE LEE / BIG BOSS II
Clones of Bruce Lee-Make NO mistake, this is one bizarre film. Legendary in the Bruceploiters, Clones of Bruce Lee comes from UberProducer and all around mayhem starter, Dick Randall. The premise is as stupid as the film of course, but that is what gives off the aromatic charm the whole production gives off. When Bruce Lee is wheeled into the hospital and dies, the SBI (Special Branch of Investigations!) calls in Dr. Nye-a crazy scientist who cackles a lot. Of course they want him to clone Bruce Lee so that they can make then make the clones into special agents. Wouldn't that be your first thought? Yeah, mine too. Enter Dragon Lee, Bruce Le and Bruce Lai! Holy cow...the clones look pretty different from each other, you would never know they were all "clones!" Dragon's jumbo eyebrows and ten pound haircut, Le's shorter than the usual Bruce look...Ah well, they all have big sunglasses to even things out. A few training scenes, spiced up with scientific mumbo jumbo (you are under MY command...wahharhar!) and the Clones get about the biz. Dragon (as Bruce #1) must stop the ever present evil film producer! No problem for him at all, he has LOTS of experience with these guys. Good fighting ensues. Then, Le and Lai meet up with another Bruce (sheesh, he isn't even a clone, but he has the sunglasses) as Bruce Thai joins the cast. This story is where the bizarre stuff really revs up in earnest. Bronzemen in tightywhity underwear go "clonk" under the fists of the furious dragonettes! Gonk GONG...GONG...Gonk. Even Enter The Dragon baddie Yang Tze (BoloYeung) shows up looking for a piece of Bruce once again. So many Bruces, so much Bolo. That man has scary lips...but I always enjoy seeing him.
Did I mention the best use of gratuitous nudity since Zombie Lake? No? You have to see it! A bunch of Thai women with very nice breasts rub oil on themselves and jump a passer by. The Bruces just kind of watch...hell, if I was Bruce Lee's clone, I'd want to at least break off a bit of spicy Thai peanut while I adventured. Anyway...Dr. Nye isn't playing with a full deck, and he pits Bruce vs. Bruce vs. Bruce to get a king Bruce to take over the world. Hey, it's nice to see Dragon Lee and Bruce Le go at it, this is an awesome scene! Let's just say the most obscure won't survive! Once all the magnetators (??) have been cut you can see this little gem of what the hell cinema. Clones of Bruce Lee is simply a film you have to see to believe, anyone who enjoys oddball movie making will get triple kicks out of this film. It's amazing it got made, it's amazing that Bruce Lee didn't rise from the grave to kick Dick Randall in the balls and it's fun as a basket of snakefists on a Saturday night after a case of cheap beer.
The DVD presentation is a damn pity though...with a full frame transfer that seems to have been done on a telecine operators first day, the action seems always to be where you can't see! AND to top it off, shamefully the movies sound goes out of synch over and over, with slight pauses to catch it up. WHAT? It looks fair at best (though for the price, it is at least stable)...why not just make sure that the "WHHHHAAAATAAAAAA" sound matches the onscreen action? I've seen several prints of this, and Sifu Linn provided me with a decent widescreen transfer some years back. Sadly, that cuts out the "your hurting my arm" whine at the end of the film, but is far preferable.
Big Boss II-Dragon Lee in a "sequel" flick that certainly doesn't feel much like The Big Boss...but it's a really good action film on it's own! Time to fight the "damn japs" again, and Dragon Lee does a fantastic job with a furrowed (huge) brow. Dragon is one of the guys who does his martial arts with little resemblance to Lee's fighting, and it makes for great screen battles. With the audio problems of Clones, this is the reason to grab the set... Balanced by good fighting and the occasional surprise (watch out for those flying needles of death!)-Big Boss II is a great bit of LeeFu. Bolo shows up in this one as well, sporting a little Hitler mustache no less! Odd... Dragon is moving on up my list of Bruce faves.
The DVD looks exactly like a VHS, but that is to be expected. Not great, but also not bad. Watch it first. Both films are from "Filmline Enterprises" and you'll notice a scene of Dragon Lee training is from Clones of Bruce Lee. Not too strange, until you also realize that "Gonna Fly Now" from ROCKY is playing under these push ups! Why waste a good bit of music theme theft if you can use it twice!
SIDE B-Bruce Lee's Deadly KungFu / Bruce's Fist of Vengeance
Bruce Lee's Deadly KungFu-AT LAST, Ho Chung Tao, better known as Bruce Li appears. This one is a bio-pic that just has a young Bob (uh..Bruce) discovering his own system (which looks unsurpisingly like a renamed JeetKune Do) and smacking around a bunch of white guys. Bob and his buddy look for work after losing the waiter gig they count on because tempers can't help but get lost and Bob loves to serve up "pepper chicken...good for gut-WHAM!" No matter where he goes, the evil whites and the guys who run the kungfu schools won't leave him alone. So even more fighting ensues. Li gets some first class support here though, as the walking deltoid Carter Wong joins the cast. Sure, many don't dig him, but I love Carter Wong's fighting style on film...and it's fun to see Li square off with him. AND then, the bootmaster himself, HwangJang Lee shows up wearing a cape!! He beats down Carter and Bob! Hell yeah...so it's up to Bob's new kungfu system to devise a solution to the furious feet of Hwang. Can he? Well...c'mon, he is supposed to be Bruce Lee right? It's a lot of fun getting there though-with fights, kid fu, t-shirt fu, kungfu outfit fu and the use of "Well my friend...what do you want?"
"My revenge!"
Another less than lovely (and more washed out than the previous two) VHS transfer. Not the best way to see Bruce Li for anyone who hasn't yet experienced the fun but sufficent at the right price. There must have been a run on black pants and white T-Shirts in the local mart that week...and the Shirts vs. Sweatsuits battles are always plentiful in this one. Look at Bruce Li though...he really looks like the Real Bruce Lee here in a big and scary way. Try Bruce Li in New Guinea first, but for a nice look at a Lee BioPic, this one is fairly satisfying.
Bruce's Fist of Vengeance-Maybe they hoped you wouldn't get this far. Bruce Le, the least of the Lee clones in my opinion, is in Manila (oh jeez...you know it's gotta be cheap, just ask Fred Williamson!) His buddy, Jack Lee is coming to town during a big tournament-and after Le gets his ass kicked, decides to bequeath his buddy with the secret book. It's always a secret book! Yes, the missing techniques of Bruce Lee will be revealed, though I'll be damned if we see them in the film, because nothing looks too impressive. Defining the ugly side of cheap Fu, this one looks horrid and has very few redeeming qualities. However, it's a must to at least skip to the section where Jack Lee is captured by the bad white guys and tied up, with his LEGS BEHIND HIS HEAD! They carry him around that way and it is damn strange looking. Also the token bad white dude is played by FerdinandoBaldi alumni, Romano Kristoff. Ah, it's a tournament film, it's a secret book film...it's earwax. It looks bad as well, but better than Bruce Lee's Deadly KungFu at least. Dim praise, dim film. Well, if you combine the two leads, you get Bruce and Lee out of the pseudonyms.
Overall, the Dragon 4 Pack is a nice Bruceploitation primer...and at the price, it can't be beat for diehards, all those who want to see something strange though...try and find a tape of Clones of Bruce Lee instead. You'll pay less and gain more! Videoasia disappoints with this one-letting synch issues blow what could have been a fine release for it's type. Given the amount of junk they would flood the market with-this one film and the sound issues may have been the most disappointing of all.
Fuerza Mortal/Force Mortelle, Big Game- la chasse aux noirs, Mad Mex The Blackfighter
Max Boulois, the man behind Othello, The Black Commando strikes again. If Fred Williamson had Po' Boy Productions, Max certainly found the Mo' Po' Garçons-Eurocine, to pickup his project. What starts out as a simple rip off of The Most Dangerous Game gets injected with a french fried funk that is all Boulois' own.
Opening in Vietnam, Gerald (Max B) bursts on the scene to save his good buddy as they attempt to escape a P.O.W. camp. Slinging him over his shoulder like a sack of footballs and running through the open jungle, this is something Chuck Norris could only dream of doing. See, Max is a good guy... but the world isn't prepared to be nice in return of course! When Gerald gets home to the Big Apple there is a hard road ahead for our jumbo commando as his gym, which appears to be a bedroom, has run him into serious debt. Loan sharks are closing in. But wait... shock cut to a nude black man running away from some hunters in a jungle that looks suspiciously like "Vietnam"-and when he gets shot too easily, we know that these bastards need a Hard Target...a Most Dangerous Game...A BOULOIS!
The hunters come to the same conclusion of course... and because ex military guys are involved (of course), they pull some military records in the search for someone tougher to kill. Behold! The way to get our man involved to the MAX has arrived, and Gerald is contacted. With an offering of one million dollars to survive the hunt, our skeptical bit of brawn listens and looks around his gym/bedroom. The down on his luck hero agrees, and after a bit of blindfolded transport, it's back to the aforementioned weeds to duke it out with some white hunters who really aren't so great. Of course, they do spell out the fact that Max Boulois is the perfect specimen despite what our eyes tell us. Also we learn that because he is black he can swim fast and jump crevices (no lie, that is what they say!). Well, Gerald takes it to them, using his wits and fists, finally commandeering a very funny little ATV for some slow dragging of the evil white man and a game of chicken with a helicopter!
After making it home, the poor sports that tried to kill him for fun create trouble and refuse the million to the Man...killing his friend in the process. Push comes to shove, and Max stops sitting down (which he does while wearing his football helmet and fondling a ball) and springs into action. Recruiting the finest young teens on bikes, he sniffs out the government men (and even gets some help from a nice looking Government agent lady with a gun)-and dishes out his vengeance in true MadMax style.
To call this a good movie would be an overstatement, yet I can't help but be fascinated and utterly charmed by the oddity of Max Boulois cinema. His Othello The Black Commando is a bizarre experiment where Boulois was trying to be very serious and thoughtful, but Big Game doesn't try to be anywhere near as daring. This is an action film poured straight through one mans aspirations and tiny pockets! When one Golf Pro turned activist writes, directs, stars, and even does the funk score (check out the vocals!) it is certainly an achievement. The film is loaded with images that go from sublimely strange (check out the use of opticals on the explosions and especially the flashback/imagining of his friend dying) to the stunningly dull. Cheap and ugly looking, the flick doesn't attempt to be more than it is-and uses the attitude and style of it's auteur as it's sole drawing point. For Americans it's a jolting geographic experience as well. The film is shot in Miami and New York/New Jersey, but Max drives between both! Somehow Florida becomes a city in New York! Classic blaxploitation? nah. Classic Eurocine pickup oddness? Certainement!
The Greek video tape from Video Alsen is full frame and ugly looking, but finding this obscure flick anywhere is a blessing...if you are lucky enough to stumble onto it, enter the Big Game without haste, because it could be gone tomorrow!
The enigma of Max Boulois rolls on for another movie. Not your average hero, Max is a big burly ex-football player and happily seems to NOT exude any charisma, unlike so many other ex-jocks who tried a turn in the action flick game. But the man has vision, and it's his own, so you can't fault him that. Today, you can find Max-Henri Boulois' books of political commentary in France, as well as attend his political rallies. In 2001 he hosted "Memory of Slavery", with guests such as Nelson Mandela! I wonder if Nelson caught Big Game? It's a crevice jumping classic!
The mysterious Max H. Boulois film Othello The Black Commando is a favorite Obscuro-Trash classic of mine. Now, thanks to the new computer and scanners finally being set up, it is time to start mining my archives of material. I've had lots of requests and I'll try to start filling them. First up is a Japanese VHS of Othello (including the reverse text sleeve, I have NO idea what could be written inside, but OtBC is a one of a kind flick), as well as the Greek VHS. It took me years to locate the Japanese tape, but it was worth every second!
Also, check out this amazing interview with Tony Curtis when Othello was being sold!!! Astounding really...